2018: What A Year.
I’m almost certain you’ll have seen lots of ‘My Top Nine’ doing the rounds on Instagram the past couple of days.
Now that the Christmas rush is over and 2019 is days away, it’s only natural our thoughts start to drift toward the New Year but not before reflecting on the year we’ve had.
To say mine has been a roller coaster would be an understatement. There have been some absolutely incredible highs but like with most things in life, there have also been some pretty low lows.
In a previous Instagram caption this week, I talked about how I’m setting intentions for the year as opposed to resolutions. Meaning, that I can be fluid and flexible with these. There are certain things that I want to achieve this year, but I don’t want to set myself unrealistic, unattainable goals. I know that if I don’t achieve them, I’ll feel deflated and demotivated. Two things I’d much like to avoid if I’m honest!
So with the above in mind, I wanted to share my Top 9 with you all. Not because of the likes, the numbers or the reach, but because I actually found it fascinating.
The Top 9 posts were moments, events and captions that I was most proud of (except the picture of my porridge although, I was proud of how tasty it was!!)
Following the bowl of porridge (lol) was when I talked about how I’ve finally come to realise that I am in charge of my happiness. I get to decide what type of day I have and it is perfectly okay not to be okay.
I remember writing that caption and it was on a tricky day – a bad day lets say. I struggled to find the good so instead, I took myself on a run and I still remember how I felt during. I had a little cry, I walked more than I ran but when I got home, I felt so much better. It was as though a weight had been lifted. I’m putting it down to taking charge. I decided I would make that day a good day and I did.
Obviously that doesn’t happen all of the time, but this year I’ve learnt that it actually is okay not be okay.
The third – really truly enjoying the moments and the memories with little to no guilt. The underlying realisation that making shifts in my mind really can totally change the way you approach holidays, birthdays, occasions. Again, this doesn’t happen all of the time. And there are still times when I have to really (really) dig deep, but it’s a huge improvement on the year before.
Number 4 – winning the HBC ‘Best New Blog’ Award. Absolutely, positively up there with one of the best moments of 2018. There isn’t much more I can say other than that if I’m honest.
Just know I’m so grateful to all of those who voted for me. Your support makes this whole ‘blogging thing’ so much more than just another caption or another post. Knowing that there are others out there who care to read what I write fills me with more joy that you’ll ever know. So THANK YOU.
This next one meant a lot to me, so I’ll share part of it again.
‘Not a diet, a lifestyle. Not for them, for me. Not for a day, but for everyday. Not to look better in that outfit, but to feel good in my own skin. Not for a competition, but for the competition I have created for myself. To become a better, stronger version of myself, every single day’.
For years I did it to look better in the jeans, the bikini. For that boy, that party. But seriously, not anymore. It’s for me and ONLY me.
One of my favourite IG accounts (@lottielifestyle) has this amazing hashtag – #beyourownbestfriend. 2018 saw the start of that, 2019 is going to be the year that really, really happens.
This post was dedicated to my Blogging Journey, but instead of repeating myself, I’ve linked the full post here so you can have a read at your leisure.
Next up – tracking. Ah, the ‘be-all-end-all’ of fitness fanatics. Yes, I have tracked my macros and food. I still do I’d say 70-80% of the time. Did I track over Christmas? No. I was never ever going to and the same applies when I’m on holiday.
I tend to find that I fall in and out of love with tracking. Sometimes it’s really good for me – and ensures that I do actually eat enough. As I’m sure you’ll all know, I have struggled with food and thoughts around food in the past, so I’m conscious now of ensuring that I fuel my body properly.
Other times, I fixate over the numbers and I’m not afraid to admit this. If I don’t hit the targets spot on, it can really affect my mood and sometimes I know it’s more detrimental.
I spoke about how the numbers do get in my head and how sometimes it’s just too much for me. I wrote that back in September and sometimes its still the case. So I’ve decided that in the New Year, I’m going to try and eat intuitively. It may work, it may not. But I trust my body, and I trust myself enough to try.
Number 8 – Pre-Christmas thoughts. Another topic that I’m sure you saw a multitude of posts around, but it was always a topic I knew I wanted to write about.
I had quite a few messages pop into my inbox asking how I was feeling about Christmas especially in regards to food so I decided to tackle it head on.
I had a couple of days where I did wobble. I felt the pressures and that little voice in the back of my head started to get louder. But this year, I tried my absolute hardest to silence it. I spoke out when I was started to worry or panic and it made all the difference. It meant I was able to fully enjoy the festive period. I said yes to the mince pies and the extra potatoes guilt free.
I didn’t deprive myself the following days. I enjoyed myself and the only thing I gained was memories.
It just goes to show that it does get easier – I promise.
And last but not least was an extension of a previous post where I talked about how ‘Not all days have to be good days but as long as you’re doing something for yourself on those days, you’ll be making progress,’ another that meant something more than just being another post.
I really have found this to be the case in 2018. Sure there have been days where I’ve stayed in bed all day because it’s too hard. But even on those days, I’ve done things that do make me feel better. A face mask, baking, yoga, running, workouts, Gilmore Girls – you get the picture.
Previously I’ve not been able to do anything on bad days, so that demonstrates progress and you know what, I’m proud of that.
Looking back at all of this shows that although Instagram is a highlight reel, it can show you the best of the best. And that’s what the above did.
Of course there are other moments that I’m proud of that didn’t appear…
- Moving back to Bath
- Getting a new job that genuinely brings me joy
- Becoming a Free Soul Ambassador
- Running the Bristol Poppy Run on behalf of the Royal British Legion
- Being interviewed by BBC Radio Bristol
- Attending events by myself (read my post on overcoming event fear)
- Working and collaborating with some incredibly brands and companies
- Completing (and passing!) Frame Teacher Training
- And a few more…
2018…what a year and I’m only getting started.
I’ve embodied who I am more than ever before. I’ve learned more through opening my mind.
I’ve pushed myself, I’ve surprised myself and I am proud of myself.
Here’s to a Happy, Healthy and Fulfilling 2019 – whatever it may hold for us all.
And one last thank you to you all. I wouldn’t be here otherwise.